[Image Description: Background is several triangles in a circle like a pie alternating from true red, scarlet and black. A robin is sitting on his perch looking to the right.
Top Text: “Your bag jokes”
Bottom Text: “are not funny”]
If I ask if you need a bag, please do not effing tell me “No, I have one at home!” or “No, already got one. She’s in the car.”
a) You’re approximately the 193289548th person to tell this joke. You are not clever or inventive.
b) I do not think calling your wife a bag is amusing. In fact I find it pretty damn offensive, unless she’s standing right there beside you and is obviously okay with the joke.
c) I will not laugh. In fact, I will put on the most bored, blank expression I can until your laughter at your own hilarity has faded into awkward mumbles and fidgeting.
Seriously, just don’t make the joke at all and we’ll all be happier for it, okay?